Giving Up On Your Dog

The following is a post that I found on Craigslist a few months back and it sums up the every day struggle of rescuers who deal with owners that give up their pets.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Average Pet Owner:

Thank you for contacting us animal rescuers, shelter volunteers, and foster-homes about your inability to keep your pet. We receive an extremely high volume of inquiries and requests to accept surrendered animals (and none of us is getting paid, OK?). To help us expedite your problem as quickly as possible, please observe the following guidelines:

1. Do not say that you are "CONSIDERING finding a good home" for your pet, or that you, "feel you MIGHT be forced to," or that you "really THINK it would be better if" you unloaded the poor beast. Ninety-five percent of you have already got your minds stone-cold made up that the animal WILL be out of your life by the weekend at the latest. Say so. If you don't, I'm going to waste a lot of time giving you common-sense, easy solutions for very fixable problems, and you're going to waste a lot of time coming up with fanciful reasons why the solution couldn't possibly work for you. For instance, you say the cat claws the furniture, and I tell you about nail-clipping and scratching posts and aversion training, and then you go into a long harangue about how your husband won't let you put a scratching post in the family room, and your ADHD daughter cries if you use a squirt bottle on the cat, and your congenital thumb abnormalities prevent you from using nail scissors and etc., etc. Just say you're getting rid of the cat.

2. Do not waste time trying to convince me how nice and humane you are. Your coworker recommended that you contact me because I am nice to animals, not because I am nice to people, and I don't like people who "get rid of" their animals. "Get rid of" is my least favorite phrase in any language. I hope someone "gets rid of" YOU someday. I am an animal advocate, not a people therapist. After all, for your ADHD daughter, you can get counselors, special teachers, doctors, social workers, etc. Your pet has only me, and people like me, to turn to in his or her need, and we are unpaid, overworked, stressed-out, and demoralized. So don't tell me this big long story about how, "We love this dog so much, and we even bought him a special bed that cost $50, and it is just KILLING us to part with him, but honestly, our maid is just awash in dog hair every time she cleans, and his breath sometimes just reeks of liver, so you can see how hard we've tried, and how dear he is to us, but we really just can't "You are not nice, and it is not killing you. It is, in all probability, literally killing your dog, but you're going to be just fine once the beast is out of your sight. Don't waste my time trying to make me like you or feel sorry for you in your plight.

3. Do not try to convince me that your pet is exceptional and deserves special treatment. I don't care if you taught him to sit. I don't care if she's a beautiful Persian. I have a waiting list of battered and/or whacked-out animals who need help, and I have no room to foster-house your pet. Do not send me long messages detailing how Fido just l-o-v-e-s blankies and carries his favorite blankie everywhere, and oh, when he gets all excited and happy, he spins around in circles, isn't that cute? He really is darling, so it wouldn't be any trouble at all for us to find him a good home. Listen, we can go down to the pound and count the darling, spinning, blankie-loving beasts on death row by the dozens, any day of the week. And, honey, Fido is a six-year-old Shepherd-Lab mix. I am not lying when I tell you that big, older, mixed-breed, garden-variety dog are almost completely unadoptable, and I don't care if they can whistle Dixie or send semaphore signals with their blankies. What you don't realize is that, though you're trying to lie to me, you're actually telling the truth: Your pet is a special, wonderful, amazing creature. But this mean old world does not care. More importantly, YOU do not care, and I can't fix that problem. All I can do is grieve for all the exceptional animals who live short, brutal, loveless lives and die without anyone ever recognizing that they were indeed very, very special.

4. Finally, just, for God' s sake, for the animal's sake, tell the truth, and the whole truth. Do you think that if you just mumble that your cat is "high-strung," I will say, "Okey-doke! No prob!" and take it into foster care? No, I will start a asking questions and uncover the truth, which is that your cat has not used a litter box in the last six months. Do not tell me that you "can't" crate your dog. I will ask what happens when you try to crate him, and you will either be forced to tell me the symptoms of full blown, severe separation anxiety, or else you will resort to lying some more, wasting more of our time. And, if you succeed in placing your pet in a shelter or foster care, do not tell yourself the biggest lie of all: "Those nice people will take him and find him a good home, and everything will be fine." Those nice people will indeed give the animal every possible chance, but if we discover serious health or behavior problems, if we find that your misguided attempts to train or discipline him have driven him over the edge, we will do what you are too immoral and cowardly to do: We will hold the animal in our arms, telling him truthfully that he is a good dog or cat, telling him truthfully that we are sorry and we love him, while the vet ends his life. How can we be so heartless as to kill your pet, you ask? Do not ever dare to judge us. At least we tried. At least we stuck with him to the end. At least we never abandoned him to strangers, as you certainly did, didn't you? In short, this little old rescuer/foster momma has reached the point where she would prefer you pet owners to tell her stories like this:

"We went to Wal-Mart and picked up a free pet in the parking lot a couple of years ago. Now we don't want it anymore. We're lazier than we thought. We've got no patience either. We're starting to suspect the animal is really smarter than we are, which is giving us self-esteem issues. Clearly, we can't possibly keep it. Plus, it might be getting sick; it's acting kind of funny.

"We would like you to take it in eagerly, enthusiastically, and immediately. We hope you'll realize what a deal you're getting and not ask us for a donation to help defray your costs. After all, this is an (almost) pure-bred animal, and we'll send the leftover food along with it. We get it at Wal-Mart too, and boy, it's a really good deal, price wise.

"We are very irritated that you haven't shown pity on us in our great need and picked the animal up already. We thought you people were supposed to be humane! Come and get it today. No, we couldn't possibly bring it to you; the final episode of "Survivor II" is on tonight."

Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Pet Owner, for your cooperation.

Author Unknown, but could be any shelter worker or rescue worker. 

Comments

That was very well said. It is extremely unfortunate people are that irresponisble.

[Jen]

My dog was given to me by its previous owner who couldn't look after her (Monty) anymore. I was always a bit foggy about the reasons he had to get rid of Monty (http://www.flickr.com/photos/jaycee/9071401/in/photostream/) - but he obviously had problems as he committed suicide a few years later.

But I've now had Monty for nearly six years and consider her my first child. She's got her annoying habits for sure but I love her to bits and she's a member of the family. I can't fathom people wanting to give away their pet because it's inconvenient for them.

Keep up your good work.

[Bob]

I just can't consider our dog a part of our family, like a child. Its an animal, preditor, just like the animals feasting on my garden every night. I hate our dog, my wife dislikes her, and my daughter loves her. So I am stuck with this beast whether I like it or not. She terrorizes the kids in area, hates all other dogs, has figured out how to get across our Invisable Fence. Barks all the time. Chases everything in sight, I cannot sleep at night because she HAS to be on our bed. She is cute as hell, but a demon at the same time. If any asked me if a Rat Terrier is a good dog, I would tell them to not walk away from one, but run. Do not be tempted to even try. We had a Jack Russell named Cuju before this beast, but it hated my daughter, and bit her. So, I bit her back, and brought her to the rescue that same day. I guess I am not a dog person.
On a side note...I have a really good dog to give away. Rat terrier named Lucy. Free to good home. Calm and friendly. Never barks. House trained. Good with kids. (is this what you are talking about?)

[Laura]

Wow, I know the article was written a year ago, but its message is timeless. Only yesterday, while walking my precious Moochie (the neglected border collie who my husband & I rescued a year ago from life on a 6 foot chain), I met a lady who wanted to pet Moochie & talk about her "ex-dog". Her husband died last year, she told me, after which time the family Chow was inconsolable. The Chow would run away all over town, presumably looking for his dead dad. Well, the woman said, "There just wasn't nothing for it, so we brought him down to the SPCA so they could find him a good home." Poor dog: He lost his human dad and then he got dumped at the pound by the stupid widow! Who do you think adopted this distraught, 9-year-old Chow? Probably no one. The part that made me want to slug her was when she said, "there just wasn't nothing for it." I can think of one thing: A fence! Stupid, stupid people--they might be the death of us all.

Here's to all of the beautiful people in the world who save animals. I wouldn't want to be on this earth without you!!!!!
Cheers, LM

I am considering giving my dog back to the pound ( a no-kill shelter). It is my own fault. I wanted a dog and my husband did not but he did one of those "but do what you want" things. Now, my husband is angry all the time. He hates the dog. The dog is only 6 mos old so he still chews and jumps and barks etc. I can't seem to figure out how to train him and still do all the other things I need to do in my life (including having a moment to myself.) He jumps on children (to play - not agressive) he nips, he escapes, he barks, he is dirty (and I am a horrible housekeeper already). I think there might be something to be said for a really, really bad decision. My 4 yr old just wants me to put him in the crate so that I can give him some attention. I am the only one in the family who will shed a tear for him. Especially because this means that I will never be able to have a dog. I wish I had adopted a calm, older dog who was good with kids and already trained. I should have my head examined.

[Kaydee]

Not all people who give up their dogs are awful, narrow-minded retards. I am looking for a home for one of my dogs because she is dog-aggressive to the point that she almost killed my other dog. Either she goes to a solo home or they live completely separate lives in the same house...now which is more humane? Duh.

[Jason]

The original poster is an idiot. To say that all people who give up their pets are horrible is crazy. I am in the process of finding my dog a better home. After we got Homer we had our first child. He tolerated her okay. After our second child, he began to change. Sure, I know he was not getting enough attention and excercise, which is my fault, but with two little kids, there is only so many hours in the day. Our lifestyle changed. He is not tolerating my toddler. I would be horrible not to pay attention to the warning signs and wait until he bites the baby. That being said, I do love my dog dearly, but at the end of the day it is an animal and not my child. So, I am working with a couple people who may adopt him. They have 80 acres of land for him to run with another dog of the two other dogs of the same breed, one of which is Homer's mom. It is a middle aged couple with no kids and that adore their animals. They will have a narritive of all his quirks, he shown how I clean his ears, receive a copy of his medical records, etc.

What is more horrible....leaving a dog that we love dearly in a situation that he is not comfortable in and setting him up for failure or..... finding him a suitable home where he would receive more attentiton and fun than we can provide given our family dynamic??

Just because you come to the conclusion that it is wrong to keep a pet, that does not mean that you are lazy or heartless or do not care. If that were the case, I would deliver him to the local shelter and be done with it. He will only be placed where he can live a long and happy life. Most importantly, where he will be loved.

Don't you dare say that I don't care about my dog because he doesn't fit into my lifestyle anymore. People's situations change and with that their animals need to evolve as well. Sometimes, the changes are too much for an animal to handle and a difficult decision has to be made.

My dog it a wonderful dog, it is breaking my heart to lose him and I do feel guilty about it.... I am not a bad person for any of this.

[Kathy]

So it's the dog's fault that he was spoiled and then you thrust children on it and he didn't like it. This is a prime example.
People don't train their dogs and then complain when the cuteness wears off. Yes, in the prev note, the dog does have to go, but it wasn't the dog's fault. Bad person? Maybe not, but still an irresponsible one. I guess we need to defend the word "bad".

[Mickey]

If the dog was a human child and he was acting out toward his siblings would you give him away "for his own good?" He was there first, then the kids, you had plenty of time to train (aka raise) him before the lil' brats came along. I wonder what you'll think of your kids when they start acting out and no longer cute little darlings but fat, oversugared terrors who watch too much tv and don't get enough exercise?

[JB]

Why aren't there shelters for unwanted humans? There, we could euthanize all of the unwanted people. Oh- Grandma', you don't "fit into my lifestyle anymore - I am too busy with the kids... perhaps you'll have a better life or just die". How is THAT for fair!

You ADOPTED an animal. ADOPTION is for life! You did NOT rent an animal, or borrow him. You pledged to that being to take care of it forever, as it is unable to take care of itself. But now you find that your life is too "important" for his! That is the most selfish thing I have ever heard.
Your pet did nothing to deserve death in a shelter, except get picked by the wrong person! You people should NEVER adopt another animal again! Nor should your kids...
God forbid, you need someone to care for you after you no longer can... I hear karma is a bitch (no pun intended).

[Maria perez]

Hi this isn't what u think that am an inresponsable or waht u wrote ok the reason that am giving up my dog is becouse my landlord dosen't want me to keep my dog actually they aren't giving me enough time to train my dog excuse my espelling ok. so they are just giving a week and that week already been up so please u soung like a nice person m friend told me about this webside so please help me at lest I kniw u probably wont that it s ok is worth a chance am 24 years old live in carteret nj female what else can I say am so sorry I think after all its my foult and u are right but i rather live it and a place he is defenetly is gonna be good and if something helps am never gonna get a dog am not that mean and if i do i better be marry so that way well be in my house and no body can say anything thank you....

[info]

Did you know?

There are 45 cats and dogs for every one person born.

Only one out of 10 dogs born ever find a permanent home.

Only one out of 12 cats born ever find a permanent home.

800 dogs and cats are destroyed each HOUR in the U.S. because there are not enough homes for them!

[bell]

i'm a singaporean giving a 2yr old shizu female dog, becus i have no time to look after it. anyone tat is caring and animal lover, interested pls contact me at my email: snowbellreborn@hotmail.com

[Mikhai;]

Hello all,

I did a Google search and found this site. I was recently diagnosed with progressive Multiple Sclerosis and have been fostering 2 Pomeranian brothers who are inseparable. What started as fostering it's now 5 years later and the person never came back for the dogs. They are my children because I have none. Writing this is very emotional for me, but I have come to a fork in the road where I had to move out of my home due to health issues and move in with my boyfriend who initialing said he be here for me and my boys, but now has a change of heart since my MS is becoming a problem and my stays in the hospital are becoming more frequent. He is not taking care of my dogs and they are sad. My friends have always told me I treat them like people, so yes they are spoiled, but trained. There six and seven and I can not take care of them any longer and they need a good home.

House broken yes! They respond to people talk like bed time, mine your business, leave your brother alone. Time out, ride time, walking time and treat time. I do not want my ailment to take them in toal neglect, but I can not make myself go into the humane office and pass them over. I can not do it. I want to be able to see them and supply and support them and maybe set with them on my good days, but I no longer drive or do walking. They are sad and the boyfriend is not getting any better. My friends are supporting and want to help me, but the dogs are a no go. They do not like dogs and only tolerate them because of me. I am loosing everything and the last are mt children. My God this is difficult, but I know there are people out there who would consider having a pair of brother Pomeranians who are AWESOME compananions loves children, but prefers the little one to visit since they are not that active.

Help!!!!

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[Christa]

Its not fair to make people feel horrible. The fact is that I am a HUMAN and I need to be happy too! I am in the same situation as the other lady whose husband hates the dog. He tried to make me happy and in turn made himself miserable. Asking people to choose dogs over husbands is ridiculous. It is NOT the same as a child. I love a dog that my husband hates and our marriage suffers because of it. I have to find my dog a new home. I dont want to... and thats the end of it. This makes me a NORMAL person, not a horrible person.

[abostongirl]

Sounds like you need a new husband not a new dog! What if he didn't like a child of yours or your best friend since childhood would you just give them up too??

Yes, they are animals, they are animals you promised to love and take care of, and when things don't go your way and it requires you to put in the EXTRA for that relationship to work YOU fail them! Time and time again!

Hearing people say they are animals, they are predators, is a cope out! Did you think that when you first got them? Of course not! But when you realized a thing or two about yourself you blame the animal! BS!

It's time we take responsibility for our decisions! Rather than running with a society that has seemingly decided it's more humane to run away from the problem or ignore it till it's too late, and leave it to someone else to undo the damage you caused!

Don't EVER blame the animal.. they are simply a product or YOUR environment and give back what you have put in... both good and bad.

Take responsibility!

[abostongirl]

Now for the real reason I came here. I volunteer at a local shelter and just adpoted my first dog. My dog of 13 years past to cancer last year. That in itself is a tough transition for me, and it has been a very emotional experience for me having this new dog.

The dog I adopted is going to need A LOT of work all because of someone elses failures. He suffers greatly from seperation anxiety, so bad that the first person who adpoted him brought him back after two weeks because he chewed a hole through the laundry room wall then chewed the wood blinds because he wanted OUT!

Let me tell you this was really discouraging for me.. but there is no way for me know what this person did to help him, was he in that room for days, hours? I don't know. He is a very loving dog and has MANY good traits and is worth the effort in my opinion.

BUT I will not lie it is A LOT of work and can be discouraging, and all I can hope for is we can undo the damage and both live happiliy together, adjusting to each others little quirks..

If anyone has any true working knowledge on dealing with seperation anxiety I would love to hear it. He is a six year old altered male.. not aggressive (but not into my bunnies) lol.. This is my first weekend with him and I have spent all weekend leaving him for a min, two min, and working it up to a total of a half hour so far...

He is immediately very stressed when left, I don't make a big deal of my coming or going.. and have found he is comfy in a crate.. does some barking when you are gone but he will relax in a crate.

I think there is hope.. we have only been together for 3 days, and would just love to hear some thoughts, and experienced opinions.

Thanks!

[William]

Well its nice to see I am not alone in my disdain of humanity. I find it disturbing how people can be so quick to do these things. No wonder we have school shootings and all these kids running amok. I mean c'mon if you can't take of a pet then you are not ready for the responsibility of a child. If you abandon a pet then you have abandoned your child as well.

The reasons they give are always BS. Its not the dog thats bad or the cat, its your utter lack of discipline and desire to actually get off your ass for once and do something.

I would die before giving up on my pet. Their well being comes before mine any day, just like my childs would. I adopted my dog, Rocko, january of 07 and no one wanted him because he was such an aggressive dog. He was abused as a pup and became this way. Well guess what!?! Now a year later with patience and love he is who he was meant to be. A wonderful loving dog. He never once snapped at me and in fact protects more than anyone ever will. I adopted another dog last december, Paige. She is a one year old mix and had no discipline at all prior to her coming home with me. Its a struggle I'll tell ya that, but I would never give up on her. She's gotten better because of persistent training.

If you can't accept the responsibility of a pet then don't get one the animal will be better off!

[WeemQuone]

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[Mary]

Man, I found a dog that had a wonderful personality that was about to be put to sleep. I bought her, spayed her, trained her and made sure she was healthy so I could find a good home for her cause she had such a wonderful personality. I even brought her with me out to a town in Colorado because it is a more dog friendly environment so I could find the perfect owner for her. I could have just let her get put to sleep. To say that I'm a horrible person no matter what for giving her away is beyond ridiculous. I never even intended on keeping her. I just knew she was special and would make a great pet for someone..... I could have just let her stay in a high- kill shelter sleeping in her own urine until she was put to sleep.... ? You guys should be a little more understanding anyhow, no one's perfect- I see people from animal shelters advertising and carrying puppies around. I found my puppy because she was being carried around and handed to little children. I got to know one of the people a little and they said they have them play with the children so that they would guilt their parents in to getting the dog. They also had "expiration dates" on all of the dogs kennels to help pursuade people. If you want a perfect owner- how can you expect someone to be prepared if they have to be persuaded to get the dog in the first place. I know not everyone does that, but it is another issue to consider.